Once upon a time, my significant other (SO) and his father (F) worked as "extras" in NYC. During a particular shoot, SO's father was supposed to be crossing the street while holding a briefcase...presumably on his way to work. The director yelled, "Cut. F, stop smiling." Take two - "Cut. F, stop smiling." F happens to be one of those people who always smiles, but you get the picture. SO then looked at the nearest intersection, which was crammed with people on their way to work. Nobody was smiling, in fact, most of them looked quite miserable. Is this how we are starting out, each and every day? Is it an epidemic? Do some of us start the day smiling, only to be transformed by "Les Misérables" we encounter in our daily goings on?
Why is it that some of us are always upbeat and positive, no matter the circumstances, while some of us are always bemoaning the hand we have been dealt? It's all a matter of perspective.The first step to living a happy life is to change your state of mind. Impossible, you say? Not really. It's simply a matter of CHOOSING to be happy. Although I sometimes have a bit of difficulty practicing what I preach, I have always believed that you get back what you put out. If you put out a negative, you get a negative back...imagine slamming a door and having it swing back and hit you in the face. On the other hand, if you put out a positive, it will come back to you many times over.
Here are a few suggestions to morph negative thinking into a New YOUR State of Mind.
- Perform one act of kindness a day until it becomes a habit. Hold a door. Let the person with one item at the supermarket get in front of you. Tell a new mother how cute her baby is. It's amazing how one small good deed can change your entire demeanor by allowing that single kindness to snowball until it becomes your new norm. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.
- Take a walk in the sunshine. Smell the flowers, listen to the birds. A little fresh air can be very intoxicating and inspirational. Additionally, the exercise will energize you and help to make you feel good physiologically. Stand tall and hold your head high and confidently. If your body feels healthy, your spirit will feel healthy. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.
- Take the high road and be better than the negative people you encounter throughout your day. Positivity is infectious. Instead of lowering yourself to the other person's level, an upbeat attitude might raise the other person to a higher place. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.
- Do the right thing. This isn't always the easiest option, but in the long-run, you will feel better about the situation and yourself. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.
- Let it go. Don't hold on to negative past experiences. Learn and leave it behind. Every day is a clean slate. You can't change the past, so live for today and go forward. Focusing on creating a positive life will help to permanently change your perception of negative situations. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.
- Be forgiving...to yourself as well as to others. Holding a grudge encumbers your thoughts, as it would your arms holding on to something large and heavy. With a few extreme exceptions, we ALL make mistakes and ALL deserve to be forgiven. Fresh starts are a wonderful thing...for both parties. Begin with a new attitude...you might be surprised at how different the results will be. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.
- Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Treat yourself the way in which you treat others, and the way in which you would like others to treat you. If you are not happy, it will be very difficult for you to support those you love. Plant the seeds of positivity deep inside you, let them take root, and watch them bloom into a magnificent blanket of goodness that will cover yourself and everybody you touch.
It just might help to permanently change your state of mind!
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