When One Door Closes, A Window Opens...

The original quote, which is attributed to Alexander Graham Bell, is as follows:

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

(As an aside, let me take a moment to thank Dr. Bell for inventing the ancestor of the mobular phone.)

Door/window, door/door, opened, closed, with/without God, whatever. The general gist is the same...and the central theme of my life. And let me tell you, I have had some doors slammed so hard in my face...that I have been shaken to my very core. And yes...I am guilty of wasting time with regrets and resentment. Hey, I am Jewish...guilt is in my genes. :-)

I have come to realize that these doors and windows, for better or for worse, have played a major role in my life's journey. I'm not entirely sure if things happen by pure coincidence...or fate, but I do know that the person I am today is a direct result of those openings and closings. Our relationships all serve some sort of purpose...even if it's just to get us to the next relationship...or the next step on our life's journey. Who could have predicted that a short trip to San Diego, for a totally unrelated reason, would lead me to a career choice that would change my outlook on life? So I keep assuring myself that everything happens for a reason. My head knows this, and maybe if I keep spewing rhetoric, I might actually take it to heart as well.

Although I can't help but have some regrets about certain friends with whom I no longer communicate, I also know that some of my current relationships are a direct result of some relationships lost. For THAT I am very thankful...because I cannot imagine not having certain people in my life. I suppose you could say that our relationships are like theatrical performances...some close prematurely, some are limited engagements,  and some are like CATS...“Now and Forever.” Good or bad, most of them leave an indelible impression, and ALL of them affect us...if even in the tiniest of ways.

As birthdays and anniversaries of events come and go, I am still struggling with this regret thing...but it is getting easier as time passes. My head is in the present and future...and my heart is beginning to follow suit. For the first time, in a long time, I am positive and optimistic about what lies ahead. As someone, once very near and dear to me, said at the beginning of our wonderfully strange relationship, "the serendipity window is open...feel free to climb through." Although I was terrified, I did climb through THAT window...and I am VERY thankful that I took that leap of faith. And although THAT relationship has morphed into something different, THAT door closing led me to the love of my life.  Methinks it's time to look forward...and do the same with future windows.

Les Misérables...or a New YOUR State Of Mind?

Once upon a time, my significant other (SO) and his father (F) worked as "extras" in NYC. During a particular shoot, SO's father was supposed to be crossing the street while holding a briefcase...presumably on his way to work. The director yelled, "Cut. F, stop smiling." Take two - "Cut. F, stop smiling."  F happens to be one of those people who always smiles, but you get the picture. SO then looked at the nearest intersection, which was crammed with people on their way to work. Nobody was smiling, in fact, most of them looked quite miserable. Is this how we are starting out, each and every day? Is it an epidemic? Do some of us start the day smiling, only to be transformed by "Les Misérables" we encounter in our daily goings on?

Why is it that some of us are always upbeat and positive, no matter the circumstances, while some of us are always bemoaning the hand we have been dealt? It's all a matter of perspective.The first step to living a happy life is to change your state of mind. Impossible, you say? Not really. It's simply a matter of CHOOSING to be happy. Although I sometimes have a bit of difficulty practicing what I preach, I have always believed that you get back what you put out. If you put out a negative, you get a negative back...imagine slamming a door and having it swing back and hit you in the face. On the other hand, if you put out a positive, it will come back to you many times over.

Here are a few suggestions to morph negative thinking into a New YOUR State of Mind.

• Perform one act of kindness a day until it becomes a habit. Hold a door. Let the person with one item at the supermarket get in front of you. Tell a new mother how cute her baby is. It's amazing how one small good deed can change your entire demeanor by allowing that single kindness to snowball until it becomes your new norm. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.

• Take a walk in the sunshine. Smell the flowers, listen to the birds. A little fresh air can be very intoxicating and inspirational. Additionally, the exercise will energize you and help to make you feel good physiologically. Stand tall and hold your head high and confidently. If your body feels healthy, your spirit will feel healthy. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.

• Take the high road and be better than the negative people you encounter throughout your day. Positivity is infectious.  Instead of lowering yourself to the other person's level, an upbeat attitude might raise the other person to a higher place. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.

• Do the right thing. This isn't always the easiest option, but in the long-run, you will feel better about the situation and yourself. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.

• Let it go. Don't hold on to negative past experiences. Learn and leave it behind. Every day is a clean slate. You can't change the past, so live for today and go forward.  Focusing on creating a positive life will help to permanently change your perception of negative situations. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.

• Be forgiving...to yourself as well as to others. Holding a grudge encumbers your thoughts, as it would your arms holding on to something large and heavy. With a few extreme exceptions, we ALL make mistakes and ALL deserve to be forgiven. Fresh starts are a wonderful thing...for both parties. Begin with a new attitude...you might be surprised at how different the results will be. It just might help to permanently change your state of mind.

• Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Respect yourself. Treat yourself the way in which you treat others, and the way in which you would like others to treat you. If you are not happy, it will be very difficult for you to support those you love. Plant the seeds of positivity deep inside you, let them take root, and watch them bloom into a magnificent blanket of goodness that will cover yourself and everybody you touch. 

It just might help to permanently change your state of mind!